Well, my dear Family, I do not know yet if I am doing this right yet or not, so I may be wasting a lot of time doing it, but, it leads to a bit of reflection. If.... it posts correctly, then I will start posting a bit of myself everyday. I feel it is important for you to know, what is in my heart, and it is really important for me to know and feel what is in yours..... after all, you know how nosy I am!

It is Saturday 3:30 PM. I should be doing many things in this day, but I decided to take a moment; there is not too many of those lately. I came to the office to work in a couple of proposals that I promised a couple of days ago, but circumstances kept me from completing them. Today is quiet, the phone only rang about 10 or 12 times, so it is a really good time to seat down for a minute and try to say something coherent. Kim is at Church in some in service training, I know she is "loving" it, poor thing she is being pulled from a hundred different directions every week, and lately she did not have any significant time off to speak of.

The holiday season is coming fast. You all know how much I enjoy all the shopping and decorating, and all the coming and going brought about by Christmas and such....but, enough sarcasm. This will be a different one I think; lately I been feeling different, I cannot put my finger on it, I wonder if it is because I am slowing down, because I have had a "annus terribilis", with the condition of the economy and other things that this year has brought, or because finally I am getting some sense into me. The truth is, that even me, sooner or later will grow up and get some sort of common sense, at least I keep hoping.
I feel surprised about how I am taking on things, I am not letting things get to me as I once did. For example, this week, we were out of funds, and amazingly enough, came friday and I was as calm as a pond. A miracle ocurred. Yesterday morning, I discussed with Suzie the condition of our accounts and what we needed to collect and what we needed to pay, I realized that, ooopps! we are in trouble, but I kept on going. The people whom owed us money, weren't going to pay, is not the right week for that. I said a prayer like I ussually do in the morning in my office. I took my frustration to The Lord, I was a bit blunt, maybe. I told him that I felt I deserved better than suffering as much.... I repented of that feeling a few minutes later, but I pleaded, I did all I could do, and knowing that I could not do anymore, I left it up to Him.
Well, in the afternoon, late, I got 2 phone calls from some of our customers whom offered me to pay me ahead of schedule if I wanted to come pick up the checks. I was speechless, it hasn't happen before, I usually have to plead with them, and threaten, and argue to get some relief, this time, the relief came to me without asking.... to them. Like I said, a miracle, and proof of the power of prayer and faith. Great lesson for this week.

As I was saying, this year seems so different, Steph is "really" away, Rachael will be "really" away soon enough, and so will Chelsea once she is called to her Mission. Poor Ashlee is the only one left to hear "my opinions" as so elocuently Stephanie put it in her post. Thank goodness she has a good network of friends to give her relief from concentrated parenthood.
The fact is that Rachael will be here before Christmas comes, since she has to work very early the day after, and in Christmas morning will only be Kim, Chelsea, Ashlee and I. Like I said, it will be different. I hope one day, we can all be together again, including Sidnei and James of course. I guess I will be feeling some of the same thing Abuela feels every year.

Anyhow, I don't think I am making any sense, but is ok, I will learn. I had a talk on Church last week, but the Missionaries spoke over their time and I only had time to give my testimony, so, a very opportunistic Bro. Guskewicz asked me to speak this coming week about "The Light of Christ". I feel is a good subject, and one appropiated to the time of the season. I take any advice, materials and ideas you may wish to contribute. I am not too concerned, I hope I can teach something worth listening to. ( I think I am not suppose to end a sentence like that, but you will forgive my lack of english knowledge...no?)

I am suppouse to go home and paint the room over the garage..... I feel a wave of procrastination coming over me. I also need to go to Gtown and put my eyeballs on Southern Cross. She's been by herself for a long time now, I got all kind of goodies to put into her, but it will have to be next week.... maybe, like I said, the procrastination thing, plus the weather is not good for the umphteen week end on a row it seems like.

I enjoyed the thanksgiving holiday. Of all the times of the year, besides Easter, I feel it is the most special. I wish to express to you my gladness and gratitude for each and everyone of you. I know you have been raised at this time of creation to help me and guide me, and to make my journey in this life more meaningful and full of joy....warts and all! Thank you.
I am glad to have such a wonderful life. When I take the time to look back, indeed realize how magnificent it has been so far. It hasn't been perfect, but I do not think any life is. I feel that unless we try and work hard and fight for the things we want, and gain a testimony of the need of sacrifice and develop the faith to keep on pushing on for the things we want, then the journey is not nearly as meaningful as it should be. I keep remind myself, that The Lord will not put in my way any more that I can stand and deal with. I just need to keep believing and asking after all I could do is done, and He will take it from there, and if it doesn't happen the way I envision, there is learning in that too.
I have been shown many times that there is not coincidences, just consecuences to decisions we make and opportunities that present themselves to us. We just need the map, the compass, the guidance.

Well, I overstayed my welcome here, I promise I will write again really soon. I love you all deeply. I miss you and think of each and everyone of you a lot more than you can imagine. I hope I am bless with the opportunity to be close to you... forever.

Jaime